When Miss Justice Died on November 9th
Addiction just to be addicted. Be addicted to any old thing, a shitty, f***ing, useless thing on which to shower our attention and dedication. One can be addicted to a drug, or various types of drugs according to taste; one can be addicted to medication, here too it depends on preferences, uppers or downers... or both, obviously. One can be addicted to work, gambling, a person or even to a situation. Meaning those situations which some of us seek or even worse create, in a continuous cycle, a perfect repetition of events which, albeit negative and almost sadistic, reassure us, they lull us on the waves of time which mechanically stops in "ever-never land", protecting us from the truth, from going all the way, from making decisions that upset us but are necessary. Ok, I'm addicted. To too many things. Drugs, medication, work, people and situations.I can't stop, and I don't want to, I only try to keep them in check, possibly making them compensate each other when one is missing due to force majeure. I need them to make time go by, make the clock tick faster, living always at the limit of things, at the limit of emotional states. A sense of absolute which refutes the grey areas. There is always something to do: a joint, a serenase, a song to write, a pill, a f***, absinthe in company, a trip, love, a tavor, a sheet of paper and some colored pencils, coke... what counts is that I kill time before he kills me. Even though the worms have already gotten to me, I do not want to fade away like the zombies I see around. In my addictions I have found a reason to carry on, I have to feed them, I have to make them grow healthy and strong, because my addiction exasperates everything, it makes me feel bloody alive. I want to hear my heart pounding, be in an altered state, see everything brighter, love obsessively, have orgasms with the heart, stay awake at night and sleep in the afternoon, say I hate you while we make love, speak with Donnie Darko's rabbit knowing well I am alone in front of the mirror. I want to go to the max. Or else shut me off. Lieu Cifer is a lifeboat which we have created to escape from all this crap which oppresses us, from all this payback we owe this society that feeds us and at the same time ostracizes us. It chews us up and spits us out. Or rather shits us out. We are living an illusion, but considering that someone sooner or later will be playing with our hides, we have decided to be one step ahead skinning ourselves and eating ourselves whole. Our project continues by shedding our skin, like animals needy to find a cycle of renewal; sun after moon, scar after stitches, name after love. The path is long, we have been walking forever, sometimes alone, sometimes accompanied by faces, which become faded photographs, threadbare and disease ridden memories. A star has stopped shining, a new nightmare has begun, no past and no future to tell, we are only the present, an extemporary thing which seeks to discover the horrors of solitude, hidden behind the mask of a nation of renaissance but also of inquisition, where everything is always the opposite of nothing, where justice is for no one. We are borderline, always the last in line. But after all we like living like this. With a "f*** you" on the tips of our tongues... Obviously in English. It sounds better!!